Thursday, November 29, 2007

Playing with One's Internet Self

From Whisky Prajer, comes this self-assessment guide for bloggers. I'm not sure what's a Good score. I mean, if your blog (or you can put in someone else's blog as well) scores in the Junior High or High School range, is that good or bad?
It's good in that you'd hopefully invite a wider and larger audience for your Grand Poobah postings.
It's bad in that the high level of expostulation that you thought you'd been at is just another bad case of self-delusion. Don;t hurt yourself falling from your illusory heights.

Just running through the numbers.
2 Blowhards - High School Level
Bullseye Rooster - Elementary School Level
Outer Life - High School Level
Stephenesque (American Fez) - High School Level
About Last Night - College Level (Undergrad)
The Online Photographer - Elementary School Level (Methinks there's something quite wrong about this score)

I'm not too sure as to how the scores reflect the blogs. About Last Night seems right. All of the other sites seem way too low.


Highest score of blogs I go to regularly?
Middle Stage
Genius Level
Yipes!


followed by:
Texas Trifles
Yeee Haw !
and
Theory of Ice.
Writing about hockey (mainly) in an intense, passionate, and yet intuitive way.

Post-Graduate level.
Wow!


Yours truly? That would be me at the High School level, throwing erasers at the intense students up front.

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Sunday, November 25, 2007

T-Day Revisted

To the scene of the crime.
The original menu was pretty much completed.

Surprising
All of the other components of the meal turned out well. The following were new additions that turned out edible and pleasing to the guests.

1) Corn soup concoction with reduced red pepper sauce.
Wow! A major surprise. The creamed corn soup was a solid base for the swirled in roasted red pepper sauce. We shall be having this again and certainly before next Thanksgiving.

2) The Bird. Couldn't just get breast this year. Sorry, folks! We'll have to deal with dark meat and drums. It'll be a 12-14 lb.-er from an Amish farm in Lancaster, complete with beard and straw hat.
We have not had a full bird in eons. Each year we simply got a huge turkey breast and left the folks with dark meat preferences in the, uhhmmm, dark. This year, due to poor calendar reading/interpreting skills of yours truly, turkey breast was not to be had at the usual preferred places. So, the whole bird, sans head, was ordered instead. All went well with the brining. The cooking the 12 lb.-er took only 3 hours. There was a lot of calamity about the latter as whole bird afficciandoes were protesting, in full lung capacity manner, as to both the temperature (400 deg. F) and the time (1 hr breast down, 1 hr 20 min breast up, 30 minutes post-oven de-shock activity) that I was implementing. All turned out well (I raise on turkey leg up to the gods of Heat and Time) and the cooking methodology made for interesting dinner-time banter between all the Me-Thinks-Me-A-Cooks.

6) Some kind of Stuffing.
First time in a long time, again. Went with a pork sausage, celery, day old Portuguese-bread-to-crouton transformation concoction. Pan-fried sausage was well-drained of the fat. Chicken stock was used as replacement liquid. The Portu-croutons, finely toasted in the oven after a sprinkling of rosemary-infused grapeseed oil, sopped up a good quart of the chicken stock. Stuffing was juicy but not squishy and the sausage? Well, I'm not asking what the Amish put into the meaty loaf, but I'm counting on their wholesome ways that the special spices are of nature's own.


Disappointing
Some notes to self and calls for HELP! (now out on DVD)

4) Mashed Potatoes - Plain
5) Mashed Potatoes - Garlic


I used a mix of Russet and red potatoes with goat's milk used for the Plain and cream cheese softened with 1/2 stick of warm butter and lightly browned 3 finely chopped cloves of garlic and some chopped rosemary (a MISTAKE!). Dash of salt, of course. Both tasted fine when very warm, but taste dropped off in direct relationship to the potatoes' heat. Sticking the pots in a warm oven didn't help; a bit of dryness set in. Next year's plan. Hold off mashing/smashing until 1st two courses are finished. Let folks at the table languish in bread, butter, and a finely filled glass of wine while I'm in the kitchen draining boiled potatoes and mashing the devil out of them.

10) Pecan Pie (done the egg custard, not the Karo Syrup, way)
Oh, what gods of baking had I offended? When compared to the same recipe, same pie from last year, this year's version was not within forking distance. Luckily, I was able to hide the pie so that no guest asked for its promised appearance. Besides, my daughter's pumpkin pies were in high demand.
Note to idiot self: When making a pie crust, don't be cute with the salt and use coarse sea salt. It's a bit odd to be eating a pie crust and bite into a small chunk of dried ocean water.

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Sunday, November 18, 2007

T-Day, minus 96 Hours

Here's a group letter that went out warning Thursday's attendees of the fragility of the day.

Dear ......,
As I seem to be the stand-in for the Master of Space & Time, I'll provide the following info as regards the events of the day for Thursday, Novenber the 22nd.

6:00 am until 12:01 pm: Much mayhem, activity, gnashing of teeth, mashing of potatoes, de-brining of Bird, and coaxing of bread all thrown in with last minute recriminations of menu choices, unpredictable and uncontrollable weather conditions, and general immature repartee as regards control of limited kitchen space by outsized personality types.

12:02 pm until 3:30 pm. : General calming of nerves and the emergence of social niceties will abound as fam & friends come to share the food and bare the truths of social gatherings. This would be the Window of Arrival for all company. Arrive early in the time span and you'll witness apparitions of a meal and mayhem of food prep. Arrive late in the temporal opening and you'll spy rosaries being fingered and candles being lit. I leave it up to you as to what you'd want to see. Your effervescent personality and calming tone is most welcome at any time, (insert guest name here)!

3:30 pm until 4:00 pm. : De-construction of Bird begins, depending on controllable oven temperature conditions. Worry-sweat rivulets start etching Grand Canyon-esque patterns in facial facade as "Is everything hot?" panic rises in cook. Be careful! He'll be sticking thermometers into anything not moving, so stay clear or he may stick you in the oven to finish the process. Food-poisoning release notices will be handed out at this time; next-door neighbour is a registered notary and she'll be providing seal and signature for a slice of the pecan pie.

4:00 pm until gout sets in. : Feasting, merriment, promises of fasting the next day, more feasting. The pies come out of the kitchen to the dining area. Sleeping is allowed wherever a guest finds comfort and a pillow to doze off. Hot compresses will be provided to all who request them.

Speaking of which. Tentatively:

1) Corn soup concoction with reduced red pepper sauce.
2) The Bird. Couldn't just get breast this year. Sorry, folks! We'll have to deal with dark meat and drums. It'll be a 12-14 lb.er from an Amish farm in Lancaster, complete with beard and straw hat
3) Mushrooms Berkley, that witch's brew of dark and boiling mystery.
4) Mashed Potatoes - Plain
5) Mashed Potatoes - Garlic
6) Some kind of Stuffing. Haven't finalized this as I hadn't planned on it until #2 happened.
7) Fried Chicken. Hey! The daughter's home and whatever she wants, she'll be getting.
8) The Ever-Loving Wife's delectably tart and fiery red cranberry homemade sauce.
9) The ELW's homemade bread, of which, IMHO, there is never enough loaves of.
10) Pecan Pie (done the egg custard, not the Karo Syrup, way)
11) The daughter's homemade Pumpkin Pie.
12) Double Vanilla ice cream to deposit on #11 & #12.

Wines of various colors and countries of origin. We'll start out, of course, with a stampulj of palette clearing homemade rakija. I'm sure there'll be a salad tucked in there somewhere for token nutritional purposes. A notice that there will be no one asking you if you want some personally ground black pepper. It'll be a DIY type of seasoning thing. But be carefully how you season! The cook will be personally insulted if you do anything more than a simple shake. Remember! He is armed with thermometers and is inclined to be using them.

Things will end with sherry, 12 Yr single malt, or port, if Remembrances of Things Past need some oiling.

Hope this helps,

Darko


As is usual, thoughts of the great gatherings in the past are fueling the worries of the gatherings to be. Good worries, though! This crowd is, if anything, forgiving of the foibles of humans and holidays and quite interested in garnering memorable stories, regardless of the levels of embarrassment. And aren't memories the most pleasurable gifts; so portable and so easy to roll out.

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Friday, November 24, 2006

Just a Pie

As Mr. Sgazzetti has pointed out on several occasions, and I liberally paraphrase this, "The only thing better than a pie is many pies".
Mathematically, that's reducible to "Pie are Squared". As weightedly hinted at by Whisky Prajer, here's my (not wholly plagiarized) recipe for a Rum Pecan Pie.

This version of Pecan Pie is a touch different. Heavily borrowed from Mark Bittman’s excellent How to Cook Everything, the procedure and ingredients are as follows.

For the pie crust, simply follow Mr. Bittman’s recipe to the letter. I used his Pre-baked Flaky Pie Crust directions found on pp 685-686 of the hardcover version.

I've used other versions of a pecan pie recipe and found the following works out the best for me. Usually. It requires a minimum of corn syrup (FYI, Mr. Bittman uses none) as a tip of the hat to Southern style versions of pecan pie. It also asks for a leap of faith. More on that a bit later.

For the filling, you’ll need:
2 ¼ cups of shelled pecans
5 eggs
1 cup sugar
( I like to use Trader Joe’s Evaporated Cane Sugar which has a better aftertaste than refined sugar and seems to have a lighter touch of sweetness. All of this could, of course, be imagined and evidence that I’ve been completely duped by the ivory toned whiteness of the sugar.)
¼ cup of brown sugar (You could use the Evaporated Cane Sugar and just cut out the brown sugar)
2 tablespoons of Dark Corn Syrup
A pinch of salt
8 tablespoons (1 stick) of butter, melted
2 heaping tablespoons of Myers Dark Rum
(I can’t vouch for other dark rums. Any time a recipe calls for rum, I reach out for Myers. It’s a bit more expensive but it has no nasty back taste and there’s a deep fullness to the taste. What’s heaping? Hold the tablespoon over the filling. Start pouring, filling the tablespoon at a moderate clip, flipping the tablespoon, and refilling the tablespoon one more time. After you’ve filled the tablespoon the second time, you stop pouring. That would be 2 heaping tablespoon. What is one heaping teaspoon? Only a Buddhist could answer that question.)
1 Tablespoon of pure Vanilla Extract
A pinch for the cook.   Indications of love go a long way when you're in the confines of a hot kitchen.


What to do with all of this stuff:

1) After you’ve baked the crust as per the instructions above, spread out all of the pecans onto a large enough baking sheet. Put it into the still hot oven (425 degrees) and leave them there for about 4-6 minutes. Occasionally (o.k., after 3 minutes) pull out the sheet and stir the pecans around so both sides are roasted. After the pecans are hot to the touch, pull out the sheet. Take half of the nuts (or more, if you prefer small size to large) and mince them up. If you’re a real nutcase about pecans, take half of the un-minced nuts and put them through into a thoroughly cleaned coffee grinder. Grind until you have a powdery consistency, but before you’ve ground the pecans into a paste. Leave the different-sized pecans off to the side.

2) Beat the eggs well. Very well; your wrist should be screaming for Bengay. When the eggs are very foamy, add the sugars, salt, corn syrup, and melted butter. Stir a few times to combine the ingredients.

3) Pour this concoction into a non-stick frying pan (I use a small non-stick wok-ish type pan for this) and place on low-medium heat, stirring continuously. The mixture will start getting thicker, almost taking on the consistency of scrambled eggs. Since you have 5 eggs in that mixture, it will start smelling eggy as well. This is where the mentioned leap of fate is required. You may think you’re making an omelet at this point...and you will be if you don’t stop at the correct point. When the mixture is hot to the touch and it’s still coagulating, take it off of the burner immediately. If the mixture has started to boil, you’re past the point of pie and well into omelet. A very, very sweet omelot, but an omelot nonetheless.

4) If the mixture is not an omelet, add the dark rum, vanilla, and all of the pecan permutations and stir well. You should be looking at a thick pool of brown, once you’re finished.

5) Pour the mixture into the still-hot pie crust and bake for 30-35-minutes. The mixture should still be moist and, if you lightly shake the pie, some wobbling should be on display. If there’s no wobble, you may have over-baked the pie. Not to worry! Eating it requires just a bit more milk or vanilla ice cream generously heaped on the Rum Pecan Pie. Besides, once the pie is served, folks are well into that "I have eaten and I am full." part of the dinner, so an appearance of pie, in any level of doneness, will usually be accompanied by an initial groan.  Calm the growing groans by offering coffee, tea, or some single malt.   Behold how the liquids soothe the roils of Eater's Anguish.

6) Let the pie rest on a cooling rack for 20-30 minutes before serving.  Ignore all of the Siren's Pleas, even though some folks love to put a dollop of ice cream on top and slice a piece of scalding hot pie so as to burn their tongue and simultaneoulsy cool it. This serving methodology is not recommended, though it makes for great dinner theatre, something you may want to consider if family stories, having been unfastened by the single malt, are too freely being let loose.

As Mark Bittman points out, the main difference between this pecan pie recipe and most others is the minimal use of corn syrup. In his own recipe, Mr. Bittman does not use any corn syrup at all. The concoction that you are making is more custard-like than the usual super-sweet corn syrup version. It tastes different. I will not say it’s better. As with most things food, it’ll be your own taste buds that’ll make the decision for you. The one thing that I can say for sure is that this recipe won’t leave that sweet & harsh corn syrup in the back of your throat. Now, if that’s what you’re after than you can go here.

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