Wednesday, March 01, 2006

"Am I Going to be Lonely For the Rest of My Life?

Unless you come around" Rhett Miller ponders on his first release, The Instigator, back in 2002. There's nothing like the woopsy-do up and dredging-bottom down of a great teenage heartbreak song.

I'm dressed all in blue
and I'm rememberin' you
and the dress you wore,
when you broke my heart.
I'm depressed upstairs
and I'm rememberin' where
and when and how and why
you have to go so far."


I, for one, don't miss the intensity of the heat and the chill that inevitably set in, with surprising speed, of the teenage romance. Frankly, I don't hink my heart could take it these days. Nowadays, the confianza, that unshakable, firm belief in someone (and, hopefully they in you) is what keeps me rising up from my morning's mattress death grip. None of that heart-racing goofy-step light-headed bouncing anymore. There's a crash ahead. Head on collision, for sure.

I'm dressed all in white
and I remember the night
You came onto me
and opened my heart.
I was hollow then, till you filled me in
Now I'm empty again
I should have never let it start.


I'm not denying the thrill of it. The total loss of yourself. The will that you'd been struggling to fortify during the onslaught of your teenage years simply disappeared. Was it the way she said your name, twisting the emphasis of the pronunciation? Or the comfort of her back pressed on your chest, her neck tilted left, tempting you to be the Dracula you'd always feared you were? If not that, it had to be the way she stared through to your soul, knowing you without talking, right?

But we all know where that no-talking leads to. No way. No how. No more.

No one else can fix me
Although sometimes my heart tricks me
Into thinking someone else will do
You are the only one, You are the only one.

Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life?!


Most probably not.
In fact (in a few years) you'll slap yourself together, maybe stumble upon Thanks for the Memory. Sarah Vaughn's version , of course. And teenage love nervous breakdowns will be slipping into the romantic ether.

(A note: The Instigator is a minor masterpiece. Miller's songwriting skills are sharp and he has a great ear for hooks to bring you into the words he piles and plies together. "Our Love" deals with Richard Wagner and Franz Kafka. A Hoot. "This is What I Do' is a great proclamation of what a singer-songwriter is all about. "Four-Eyed Girl" is a lovely little song for all of the smart girls out there. The album's well-worth a listen.)

(This is #7 of Ten Heartbreakers as memed by Whisky Prajer)

N.B.: June 8, 2007: Here's a link to a YouTube video directed by Foxamigo, with "Am I Going to be Lonely for the Rest of My Life?" as the soundtrack.

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Our tastes seemed to have converged slightly with your number 7 choice and my number 4.

I guess I am just more mainstream, but I used to be hip *grin*
 
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