Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

O.K., If this wasn't serious it would be a comedy. Suspend your grasp on reality. I'm a pirate with a bunch of buddy pirates tooling off the coast of Somalia in vessels slightly larger than your regular rowboat. Oh, yeah I have motors rather than rows. I and my non-swarthy companions approach and then hijack a very large and much taller vessel, the MV Faina (which may or may not be named after Faina Mogilevskaya), a Ukranian ship carrying 33 Russian made T-72 tank and an undisclosed quantity of rocket launchers. It hasn't been fully disclosed but I used pea-shooters, some boomerangs, and slingshots and some special Somalian rocks to hijack this vessel carrying armaments (although not Weapons of Mass Destruction). Please don't ask me why no one on board of the MV Faina seemed to think it would have been a good idea to pick up any of the rocket launchers or other arms readily available on board to shoot at us. You would think the least the crew would have done was to summon the chef and galley crew and have them pour hot water on us as we demanded that they throw down a rope ladder so we could climb up the 75 feet so as to board the ship. I mean, come on, even a little taunting would have made this adventure a little more exciting.

Perhaps they had been watching too many DVD's of Johnny Depp's escapades and had convinced themselves that "Pirates of the Caribbean IV-The Somali Adventures" was already filming and they would be extras in the production. I can't explain it. All I know is that I and my maties are sitting pretty on the decks of the MV Faina waiting for our $35 Million payoff. A T-72 tank, anyone?

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