Friday, March 30, 2007
From Surly to Churlish: How the Mighty Have Fallen
Curiosity, high box office numbers, wisps of 6th grade history lessons, and a willing daughter were all of the reasons I needed to plunk down some cash to see the dark comic escapades of the 300. As a result, just as the word "surly" has tumbled down in respectability, so has the possibility that British-accented actors adorning themselves with the maximum of musculature and the minimum of toga, can prevent a Greek legend from slipping from a drama to a cartoon. No disrespect intended toward cartoons.
The words "chiseled" and "guns" were constantly heard as the movie advanced. Even the women and the old geysers in the Senate were "stoked". Wild dark eyes were de rigeur not to mention the posing style involving sucking in of one's gut and the turning of one's face toward the sun, the latter being particularly difficult as the sun made the rarest of appearances. Politicians were held in low regard with the exception of those with "guns", thus offering the viewer a clear and decisive picture of the Good and the Bad. And the Ugly? Well, it didn't take long to see (and to shudder) that an off-putting countenance equated one with the Bad side, i.e., the Persians. Wondering where any of the spectacularly ugly denizens of The Twin Towers or The Return of the King who survived ended up? This film will prove that they traversed from Middle Earth to Greece. Hope the health benefits/life insurance with this movie were as good as their previous gigs as, once again, if your character is hideously ugly, you were guaranteed a whomping with a strong possibility of a chopped head as well.
The story line is familiar. 300 Spartans and some 250 other miscellaneous Greek city-staters against 3 million Persians and their lackeys, rhinoes, and elephants. There is one rather off-putting looking Spartan and, once you get a load of his pitiful look, you quickly realize he'll be with the Persians, a lot who are all dreaming of their own TV land makeovers. There's much thrusting of spears and slashing of swords and shielding by, uhhmmm, shields. Then, there's the best part of the movie. The posing. Posing of Olympian stature. Solo Posing. Posing in groups. Posing in duos. The posing precedes the bloodletting and then it follows it. For an action movie there are a lot of still scenes. I won't give the ending away; the 300 all die. Not sure if that was due to the energy expended doing battle against the physically hideous or the over-the-top posathon required of the plucky Greek.
My daughter agreed saying the movie brought back memories/nightmares of Baldrick and his posing pouch. The only difference between Baldrick's movies and 300 was that the former was awash in humorous and the latter was awash in humerus.
Addendum :
Stephen over at American Fez, always ahead of the curve (which, if one is ahead of, is precisely what geometric form and do you need trig to address it so your message to him arrives?) postulates on the inevitability of the 300 sequel here. Hold your snorts to a minimum, please.
Labels: Movies
Comments:
<< Home Verging on Pertinence Just some more disposable thoughts clogging up the hinterlands
Hey, Son, don't stroke out on us now! Three posts in a row...you might want to pace yourself. ;-)
The story line is familiar. 300 Spartans and some 250 other miscellaneous Greek city-staters against 3 million Persians and their lackeys, rhinoes, and elephants.
I had no desire to see this movie, until I read this. Heh. :-)
And this...
I won't give the ending away; the 300 all die.
And of course, for the posing.
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The story line is familiar. 300 Spartans and some 250 other miscellaneous Greek city-staters against 3 million Persians and their lackeys, rhinoes, and elephants.
I had no desire to see this movie, until I read this. Heh. :-)
And this...
I won't give the ending away; the 300 all die.
And of course, for the posing.
<< Home Verging on Pertinence Just some more disposable thoughts clogging up the hinterlands
