Monday, October 16, 2006

Drawers, Right & Left

At work, I am a part of the Desk Set, that sedentary pack of keyboard punchers and paper-passers cubicled in some cruel experiment to see if fluorescent lighting promotes hair growth. We have dweeby heroes like Dilbert and the characters from Office Space. Where the noble (But squeaky voiced) Eagle represents the USA, our symbol is this. We toil on, knowing that danger is always around the next pile of paper (Warning! Don't click on that last link unless you have an empty stomach). The Office is not the public promotions vehicle we'd been looking for. Look what The Office has done in England, for God's sakes. Great Britain used to be a world power before...and now????

It is a sad lot we are. Even those of us who are "degreed" are flummoxed as how the idealism in the books turned into the reality of the office.

What to do? How do we not go the route of Sisyphus and end up with boulders on top of us at the bottom of the mountain of paper?

Drawers. That's the answer. Two of them, to be correct. One on either side of our desks. A right one. A left one.
Some folks in the office have a work-particular use for them. The accountants, over there in the left hand corner of the office keep their credits in their right hand drawer and their debits in the left hand one. Want to drive them crazy? Each April 1st, we come in extra early (because the accountants come in early), and switch their drawers. You want to see Koyaanisqatsi, office style version? Their lives will be out of balance for a spell.

Me? I use the drawers for my personal happiness. Right hand drawer - these. Left hand drawer - these. Chocolate, if there's a downer spirit hovering around my desk. Lemon creme if it's a sunny day tempting me by the window.

And if the accountants come by one late night and switch my drawers? Well, any cookie will do in a pinch and the change may just do me good.

As I read this, I wondered...did he just pick a bunch of my favorite things and compose a post out of them, or what?

Koyaanisqatsi is such a perfect analogy in two, we (accountants) most certainly would become unglued and two, we could probably do so without uttering a single word.

I don't have even have a drawer on the right. Make of that what you will. ;-)
You are a good sport; I had not aimed any accountant barbs in your general direction. It was just a (very) overgeneralized view of a situation peculiar to my working situation. I lay off of the "beans" comments when I tlake with our accoutants. Besides being lazy and lame, the "beans" thing is way too old and incorrect. These folks keep us all in line, which means these days, our noses are firmly on the track toward profitablity and survival. Everyone likes to leave work knowing the place will be there when we return in the morning. The accounting folks help us achieve this modest but oh so necessary goal.

What they need is a better national advertising program. The only ad that involves accounting that is broadcasted out here on the East Coast is some "Bob the AccounTemp" series. Not a pretty picture, that. Why don't they show CPA's bugy-jumping or CMA's surfing or bear-wrestling? Or an accountant saving some executive form jumping off a building ledge?

That would work, wouldn't it?
No barbs taken. And besides, I don’t come in early and my drawers are filled with personal happiness, so I just assumed you were talking about the other accountants, not me. Our company does run a national ad campaign, trying to improve our image (I don’t think you’ll hear the word “accountant” used at all)…if you listen to NPR, then you might hear mention of “letting you do that part of the business that you love and we’ll take care of the rest” (because we’re boring accountants, that’s why)…something like that. Still, it’s not bear wrestling. I’ll mention your suggestions to the marketing department. ;-)
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