Monday, July 17, 2006
One Cart Left Behind
In a real world example, in most cases, 23 items now are still 23 items, 15 minutes from now. Let's put a descriptive on this real world example.
Whilst standing in a foodstore line,
more definitively,
a foodstore express line,
wait, please,one more level of definity,
a foodstore express line labelled as "Up to 10 items ONLY",
23 items at the tail end of the line still are 23 items at the cashier end.
No peculiar law of physics comes into play, say Boris Karlov's Law of Diminishing Check Out.
At least in this case, matter stays as matter. No conversion to energy is made. Well, at least not at the Flotsam & Jetsam Food Emporium that I spend my money and time at.
Since numbers are difficult to misinterpret as words may be, one would think that 10 is, well, TEN. Barring an industrial accident (apologies to the gentle readers who have been unlucky), 10 is the number of digits, of fingers, of the visible counting tools available to those who cannot point with one finger and tally up to 10 items in one's head. The Flotsam & Jetsam food store used to have a 15 item express line and, cleverly I thought, reduced that to a 10 item line, thus eliminating the excuse folks had of not having evolved to the stage of possessing 12 or 15 digits. It also eliminated the need for some folks to take their shoes off in a conscious effort to dutily count to 15.
Ten. Hold up both hands and there you have it. Ten fingers. Ten things to place on the counter. With the new chip-based registers and scanning, not only are the prices of the items tallied but so are the quantities. So, one can of corn = 1 item. Two cans of corn = 2 items. The associative property of addition does not come into play when buying groceries. Neither does the commutative. And multiplication and division!? No need to worry one's head about those either. No base 12's or base 15's, although I applaud people's efforts to hoodwink those of us in line dealing with base 10.
So there you have it. A shopper, either ignorant of the power of their ten digits, or, simply rude and a person in need of being reported to their mother regarding common courtesy (Yeah, I'm talking about you, you self-reaming Toilet Part (Them's fighting words!)). He/she are wasting your time and others' and, in most cases, saying anything to them is not worth the trouble or aggravation, unless you really don't have much to do that evening and a short stay at County is just what you're looking for as a way to pass time tonight.
I have a Modest Proposal. Using the State Dept of Transporation's (DOT)weight scales program, I offer the following express lane system. No, I didn't waste precious life-savings thinking time on this. While waiting in express lines over the years, I've refined the Modest Proposal from physical punishment and embarassment of the miscreant to the most painful legal practice allowed. Hurt them where it really hurts. Their wallet.
All trucks are tagged and licensed according to the weight they are allowed to legally carry. If a loaded truck is stopped and weighed by DOT and found to exceed its allowable weight, a fine is issued. If you want to take your chances of driving an overloaded truck, fine. But if you get caught, well....
You're in a express line, limited to 10 items. You've counted them with those things at the end of your hands. You're in a rush and willing to gamble. You're checked out by the cashier. The register, an impersonal don't-care-what-your-age-your-social standing-your-religious background-your-race-your-education machine tallies the prices and the quantities.
Total cost: $45.36
Total Items: 23
Revised Total Cost: $58.36
Caught! $1 per # of items over 10. In this case, $13.
Now, here's the beauty of the plan.
That excess $13 does not go to the store. A $13 credit is tallied by the register. Each customer after receives a credit of $1 against their bill, until the $13 is fully used.
Now, of course, any customer after this fellow, Mr. Self-Reaming Toilet Part, who has a counting to Ten issue will be adding to the kitty for all customer who seem to be able to deal with the number 10.
A warning sign would be posted at the register. This program, if anything, is fair. The customer is warned. In fact, if the cashier after eying the large pile on the conveyor, in a demonstration of true customer service, may even inform Mr./Mrs. Self-Reaming Toilet Part, that they'll be paying a hefty overage charge. If he/she opts to stay, those of us in back of him will be smiling and richer a buck.
Until this program gets put into affect at the Flotsam & Jetsam Food Emporium, I'll simply leave my 7-8 items cart in the express line, right behind Mr./Mrs. Self-Reaming Toilet Part and leave, apologizing to those behind me and complaining of the lack of success of the No Child Left Behind program. Damn, I thought universal counting to ten would be possible.
Comments:
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I like it. This is the first solution I've seen to this social ill that might actually work. As my wife likes to say, "I hate people."
Thanks for the non-drinking baby solution, too. Worked like a charm.
Thanks for the non-drinking baby solution, too. Worked like a charm.
# opined by 
: 9:28 AM, July 18, 2006
: 9:28 AM, July 18, 2006
Mr. Sgazzetti,
I'm with your wife, Magda, on the people thing. People, interesting theory, unpredictable practice.
Or, as we say arond our house when personal problems rise up,
"People, don't get me started on people."
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I'm with your wife, Magda, on the people thing. People, interesting theory, unpredictable practice.
Or, as we say arond our house when personal problems rise up,
"People, don't get me started on people."
<< Home Verging on Pertinence Just some more disposable thoughts clogging up the hinterlands
