Saturday, June 10, 2006

Why Football..

(Soccer) the best sport in the world, next to Hockey, of course

Explanation #1: Referees

A Football (Soccer) Referee in action

An (American) Football referee in action

1) A Football (Soccer) referee must be in shape, just like all of the actual participants in the game. He must be able to run around the field for 2 halfs of 45 minutes each. An (American) Football referee must be able to stay awake for 4 quarters, each lasting 15 minutes each. Running around is held to a minimum to allow for intense concentration.

2) A Football (Soccer) referee gets to hand out tickets,Yellow for a venial sin, or red, for a mortal one. An (American) Football referee gets to throw weighted handkerchiefs (mis-named as flags) upon an infraction. Sometimes, they inadvertently throw these handkerchiefs, possible in a state of huff, and blind the players. Extensive google-searches have netted no finds for Football (Soccer) referees blinding players with yellow or red cards.

3) Football (Soccer) referees, in addition to being in fit physical condition, must posess the theatre critic's discerning eye for what is real and what is acting. How to distinguish a dive from an infraction is just part of their repertoire. The (American) Football referee must know how to blow a a timely manner.

4) Football (Soccer) referees are multi-liguists, capable of understanding slang from the most obscure language of the 32 participating equipes. This allows him to hand out the appropriate punishment (See #2, above). (American) Football referees have problems understanding anything but Standard American English and are thus at a disadvantage when players are hip-hoppin' 'em. Yo!

Catch some FIFA blogging/commentatin' at World Cup Blog.


i disagree that the refs in soccer can actually distinguish between a dive and a foul. Other than that...I'm with ya.
I'm hoping this is the first in a series, because I very much like the direction it's heading.

As I type, my wife is in Dusseldorf, on business. She'll have less opportunity than I to watch football, but you can still colour me green with envy, because I'm starting to think the World Cup has more innate tension than the current Stanley Cup.
Tell me. Lie to me. Just write the words that your lovely spouse will take advantage of the timing of her trip and go to at least one match.
Just say it. I need to live vicariously through the Three Degrees of Internet Seperation.
Wow, I'm late to this one but I comment nonetheless as yet another "dang foreigner" who immensely enjoys watching the NFL.

On the subject of reffing I have to concur with your colourful analysis. The association football refs are awesome.

On the subject of playing; it doesn't seem frequent that the refs have to deal out a diving infraction in American football. Sometimes a little cowboy heritage is a good thing!
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