Thursday, February 16, 2006

Luge a Doux

One sees events through the mind's filters that have been clogging ever more with life's experiences. The years one piles on as one skitters through add on shades of interpretation that seem to simultaneously click immediately in recognition's frame and tediously form a view based on culling so many previous similarities. Sometimes, it seems best if one's filters are coarse, not fine, thus cutting down on the past's affect on the current.

Yours truly's filter is fine, so it's caked with the detritus of the past. Experiences, books, toys, movies. They're all there blocking the mind's eye from a clear look. Diner is one such glob I peer through.

I've been couch-sitting with the Olympics every 4 years or 2 years or whatever odd/even amount of years they have been accelerated to take place in. My preference is for the Winter Games as they, with the exception of the figure skaters, seem to have less prima dona types than the Summer Games, especially now that the Olympic Committee, always late to the dance anyway, has co-opted large segments of the X-Games into their performance reportoire.

Most of the sports included in the Winter Games need no explanation. My favorite, the men's and women's downhill, is a one-shot winner take all race run down a (usually) steep mountain of tongue-swallowing fear. No do-overs, no second runs. One time. One shot.
Of course, there are some events that, even in the Winter Games, are hard to explain. No, I'm no talking about the Biathlon, where the only thing missing is a motorized hare that can be shot at. Nor Curling, a sport which comes off fairly lousy on tv, but is actually quite interesting when seen live (and with an open bar at either side of the rink).

The sports event I'm referring to is the Double Luge. It could only have been invented, back in 1964 when luge first premiered as an Olympic event, after a long night's bout of drinking. Hard to believe, given Andy Rooney's weathered look, but 60 Minutes wasn't even on the air back then (at least for another 4 years), so no Bode Miller confessions about drinking were aired nor contemplated. What was contemplated, however, was the idea of loading two bodies onto a tiny sled and shoving it down an ice course. Not sure how many bottles of brew were consumed prior to that takeoff, but i'm sure multiple establishments were visited and liquid inventories drained prior to that first double luge ride.

Or maybe I've got it all wrong.
The Double Luge was a result of a Diner sort of conversation.
Modell: You going down that chute?
Eddie (With a look of exasperation): Of course I'm going down that chute! I'm on the luge team aren't I?
Modell (Shoulders slumped): Well, it's just that I...
Eddie: Say it Modell. Say it!
Modell: Well, it's just that if you're going down that chute, then...
Eddie : Then what, Modell?
Modell: Well, then, I mean, if it's not out of your way, then..
Eddie (Eyes are popping out): Out of my way? Then what, Modell? Go down with me, Modell? Is that what you're asking? Go down with me?
Modell : Well, I mean, if not's out of your way then, yeah, I'll go down with you. That is , if you're going down that way anyway. I mean, if you don't mind.
Eddie (Steam blowing out the ears and helmet):OOOH Modell, you just make me so angry! Just say it. Just say it. You want to go down this chute with me on the luge!. Just say it.
Modell: Well, if it isn't out of your way, that is. There isn't another way you'd planned on going was there?
Eddie: O.K., Modell, o.k.. Now just lay down on top of me and we'll....What, what now?
Modell: If we're leaving now and you're finshed with your meal, can I, uhmm, well I mean, are you going to finish that sandwich. Because, well, you know......

Good grief - just look at those pictures! Where's Bleak when you need him?!
I didn't even know of this sport until we accidently caught it last night. My son and I looked at each other with the same WTF? look on our faces. I think this sport was invented by some child molestor. "He kid, you wanna play a game? No, really, it's a real sport, it's even in the olympics, come here, just put on this spandex and come over here and sit on my lap then lay back on me, yeah, that's right, just like that!!"
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