Monday, January 02, 2006
Wait 'til, uhmmmm, Next Year !!??
Previous posts have lighted on the peculiarities on the denizens of Delaware. A small state, true, but one filled with characters of every feather. It's January the 2nd and already curious plummage is visible.
This year's New Year's resolutions seemed to have started off badly for a Mr. Thomas J. Bruno. That is, of course, if the following beginning of the year 2006 promises were NOT on his list.
Things To Do in 2006
1) Soliciting sex from a male prostitute.
2) Shelling out $150 for said solicitation.
3) Getting stiffed (sorry!?) by said male prostitute.
4) Wandering around a marsh late at night.
5) Losing one's shoes in the previously mentioned marsh.
6) Slipping into mud up to one's waist and staying there for four hours in the night.
7) Being rescued by a large contingent of state troopers, police and firmen from nearby towns of Lewes and Rehoboth Beach.
8) Being flown around the mud field by helicopter like a prize landed tuna.
9) When released from the hospital one would be charged with (tentatively) with
a) Falesly reporting an incident.
b) Trespassing.
c) Criminal solicitation.
d) Patronizing a prostitute.
Currently, in the State of Delaware, stupidity is not a chargeable offense. Although, I would think there'd be something on the books about mistreatment of marsh resources. In his defense, Mr. Bruno offered up various stories before finally admitting to the true reason he was stuck in mud, 2 miles away from his car. I think it's a shame he had not offered the most logical reason for being out late in the morning in mud (aside from an alleged rendevous with a male prostitute), namely, participating in the Annual Audubon Christmas Bird Count. Mud warblers supposedly were spotted in the immediate vicinity of Mr. Thomas J. Bruno. Although the image of Mr. Bruno flying around the marsh field caked in mud most certainly made some counter's list of odd birds flying around the Diamond State this year. Truly a prized addition to one's life list.
This year's New Year's resolutions seemed to have started off badly for a Mr. Thomas J. Bruno. That is, of course, if the following beginning of the year 2006 promises were NOT on his list.
Things To Do in 2006
1) Soliciting sex from a male prostitute.
2) Shelling out $150 for said solicitation.
3) Getting stiffed (sorry!?) by said male prostitute.
4) Wandering around a marsh late at night.
5) Losing one's shoes in the previously mentioned marsh.
6) Slipping into mud up to one's waist and staying there for four hours in the night.
7) Being rescued by a large contingent of state troopers, police and firmen from nearby towns of Lewes and Rehoboth Beach.
8) Being flown around the mud field by helicopter like a prize landed tuna.
9) When released from the hospital one would be charged with (tentatively) with
a) Falesly reporting an incident.
b) Trespassing.
c) Criminal solicitation.
d) Patronizing a prostitute.
Currently, in the State of Delaware, stupidity is not a chargeable offense. Although, I would think there'd be something on the books about mistreatment of marsh resources. In his defense, Mr. Bruno offered up various stories before finally admitting to the true reason he was stuck in mud, 2 miles away from his car. I think it's a shame he had not offered the most logical reason for being out late in the morning in mud (aside from an alleged rendevous with a male prostitute), namely, participating in the Annual Audubon Christmas Bird Count. Mud warblers supposedly were spotted in the immediate vicinity of Mr. Thomas J. Bruno. Although the image of Mr. Bruno flying around the marsh field caked in mud most certainly made some counter's list of odd birds flying around the Diamond State this year. Truly a prized addition to one's life list.
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