Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Speed Dial Blog

"Seinfeld", the referential bible of the 1990's, had the "Speed Dial" episode wherein Jerry et al jockeyed for position on a person's phone settings. Dovetailing off of that (polite action necessitated due to the barren prarie that is currently my imagination), I'm considering changing this blog's name from the low-on-the-blogging totem pole V to the tippity-top A.
So, instead of Verging on Pertinence, how about Almost Verging on Pertinence? Sort of take the nebulous quality of verging and thin out the clouds even more by making it almost something. And the Almost will prop up the visibility of this blog on those (very kind) bloggers who list this blog on theirs, in an alphabetical order. Why, maybe even do a Scandanavification of "Almost" to "Aalmost" to cash in on the double "a" and stick me up top, like a star on a Christmas tree.
Now, I just have to figure out how to top the list on those bloggers like Mr. Stepheneque who view the alphabet as an imposition on their voluminous creativity. Not to mention Mr. Bleak Mouse, whose link listing is confined to the dead, a category even I am not (yet) willing to be included in.

Ah, but here's the thing: #1 might not be the most-used speed-dial. My most-used speed-dial is #3 - a friend located just over the hill from us. The way my phone is set up, #3 is the most easily accessible speed-dial, as well. Now, if memory serves, "Verging On Pertinence" appears third from the bottom on my particular speed-dial....
WP, by aserting that #3 on your speed-dial is your #1, do you realize that that you are admitting that your vote in the speed-dial election sits somewhere between your daughters' vote. Be careful that your vote doesn't lose its vigor by slipping to #4. Luckily for you, it seems the household pets may not have a speed-dial vote, so at least you won't slip past #4.

Personally, I don't vote at our house on this speed-dial thing, it can only bring tidings of kwetching & ill. I treat the phone as the carrier of most home disturbance diseases, so if it rings, I disappear to "fix things" in the cellar. That's where we also store our wine, our paint, our sleeping bags. It's a veritable paradise down there and no phones or speed-dials!
Do not do it. As a relatively new (though fast aging) blogger I can testify to the employing of obvious methods for finding other palatable bloggers--the method of checking out links from my initial paltry list being the most obvious. I started with Antigest, yes, but that is because I am a grafled Antigeist product. Quickly I ran through links to The New Criterion, which is where I zoomed to StepheEsque, who became my favorite and source of many others, spreading out to a vitual . . . world-wide web! In checking out links my method continues to simply click the most obscure name, preferably using the most difficult words. It only took my half a second to click "Verging on Pertinence" once I spied it, and I have been coming back, vertiginously, ever since. Putting an A in front of your name changes the meaning entirely, to a sloppy inclusive state of mind, from a man with a sword about to plunge into the vitual, or is it the vital, heart of zee matter. (They speak that way around here.) By the way, there are alot of old paint cans my cellar also. And several old phones, and old computers even! Obviously, the second stage of blog development is to write to other bloggers. In my resulting voluminous, vast correspondence since, only one has ever zeroed, or zapped me out . . . while untold multitudes have alternately whined and yawned over my long sentences. So stay where you are.
Actually, Mr. Vzeuv is #1 on my speed dial.
Can you guess where that name came from?
ddflksadklsa&&74ssa bet I can, Mr. StephenEsque!
What is this "speed-dial" thing you speak of? Try as I might - pushing, even - I can't get this damned dial to clickety-clack any faster.

Don't change. Besides - some ling to "Verging", others to "DarkoV".

Aarkov? you really want to go there?
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