Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Banging the Box... Slowly
The Panasonic 27 incher is on its last legs. Funny, it’s not that old. Seven years.Should I be paranoid about the planned obsolescence theory of manufacturing?
Is the electric current on the third floor insufficiently powerful enough to jolt the television into its optimal power consumption grid? Not sure what I said there; I’m a little light in the electrical engineering shoes. I remember that electrical current was always compared to water current. It would stand to (convoluted) reason, that current going vertical would lose its power; what started out as 120 volts coming out of the circuit box would stagger through the wizen maze of wiring of our old house eventually ending up 3 flights in the outlet box where the tv’s plugged in as a token 30 volts.
Whichever. The sound’s fine. Channels can be surfed. Just no picture. Well, actually an intermittent picture. First the top right corner starts to turn green as in gillish green. Then, the picture turns from an expansive full screen to a thin horizontal line. Shortly afterwards, like an imploding star, the horizontal line becomes a fiery dot. Then a black void settles in, sucking all the groans in the room with it. Consulting with my son, whose college experiences includes the requisite exploding (insert item here) experience, I was informed that the green tint was significant. If it was grassy green, it was a camera problem at the studio’s end. Gillish green, however, was an indication of the onset of our set’s death throes.
“Our set soon went dark and there was smoke. We unplugged the set. Sparks flew, more smoke, and then a sound like ennui.”
“Ennui?”
“Absolutely, though I couldn’t tell if it was a Sartrian (?) or a Camusian (?) ennui.”
Hmm, college’s been very very good for my son; he’ll be the first Existential tv repairman in Ohio.
With this learned observation, I contemplated the next home entertainment move. Need for purchase or ride out the downward plunge in viewing quality.
And trust?!? Who can I trust to make my long-term capital purchases? This was a Consumer’s Report Best Buy appliance. Am I incorrectly equating “Best Buy” to “Lifetime”. Is 7 years of tv life the same as 15 years of dog life, which is 105 years in human life? Is the codger set ready for the grave?
Not without a fight, I say. And the fight begins with “The Technique”. Passed on from father to son from when there was just black & white and 4 channels. “The Technique” is different from family to family. It’s like baseball’s batting stance and swing. The aim is to solidly connect bat with ball. The style you adapt is immaterial; only results are judged. My preference is the “DA dum” method. Standing facing the screen, I stretch out my arms with my hands tilted 90 degrees on either side of the tv. A sharp rap of the open palm of my left hand is followed by that of the right. Like a sharp jolt to the heart. No reaction from the tv? Repeat as necessary.
This TV CPR thing has been going on for about 2 months now. What started as a once-a-week love tap has now become a daily ritual. At the beginning of our death watch, other members of the family, when faced with a blank screen, have called in The Master to do the deed. After careful observation, the always impressive daughter has deduced the basic Cro-Magnon tapping technique. She’s perfected it beyond The Master; the Panasonic seems to sense her approach and flicks the picture back on without even a nudge.
The Master is impressed and envious. But isn’t this what each new generation is supposed to do anyway? Ever improving the clan’s pre-historic swing.
ps. While doing a bit of research on the Planned Obsolescence theory, this site came up. Interesting reading by an Economics textbook author. Here’s an excerpt:
" Planning for Obsolescence
Not everything should last forever.
When I wrote my first textbook, the publisher wanted to
combat the second-semester used book market by sewing a
$100 bill into the binding of every 100th book. Every student
would tear his book apart to see if he'd won. Printing with
disappearing ink that lasts exactly one semester would also
discourage the used book market. But instead of running
lotteries or using disappearing ink, most publishers make used
textbooks obsolete by periodically releasing revised editions.
Did I mention that the fifth edition of my textbook is forthcoming
next year?
Comments:
<< Home Verging on Pertinence Just some more disposable thoughts clogging up the hinterlands
Electronics are always designed to break, so I always hesitate to recommend anything - but how about buying one of those new High Definition TVs? That's what I've done.
I bought "Sampo" because it is relatively cheaper than others and seems to be a good quality. They always make a multi-region, multi-standard DVD player that will play European standard DVDs on American televisions. It does the video conversion for you. Excellent thing!
I bought "Sampo" because it is relatively cheaper than others and seems to be a good quality. They always make a multi-region, multi-standard DVD player that will play European standard DVDs on American televisions. It does the video conversion for you. Excellent thing!
# opined by 
: 10:53 AM, June 08, 2005
: 10:53 AM, June 08, 2005
Stephenesque: Have to be honest here. I religiously read your daily post. I finish reading and, after laughing uncomfortably too loud, I have that dizziness associated with chess players, who are used to playing one board at a time, and who are first confronted with playing on one of those stacked multi-board skyscraper chess sets. There's a jet stream shooting over my head; I feel my (limited) hairs being uprooted.
So, when you mentioned "Sampo", I assumed this was some monitor company one of your blog's characters, say Mr. Steryle, buys from regularly. Stunned! Stunned, was I when a googling resulted in an actual company & website (www.sampoamericas.com)! Unless this site is just a concoction quickly assembled by yourself to take me further down the road of wrong entertainment choices. Thanks for the recommendation...I think.
So, when you mentioned "Sampo", I assumed this was some monitor company one of your blog's characters, say Mr. Steryle, buys from regularly. Stunned! Stunned, was I when a googling resulted in an actual company & website (www.sampoamericas.com)! Unless this site is just a concoction quickly assembled by yourself to take me further down the road of wrong entertainment choices. Thanks for the recommendation...I think.
Oh lordy. My physics teacher in high school - notably perverse - refused to teach us that electrical current was electrons flowing this way, and insisted instead it was "holes" flowing that way.
While later apprenticed as an electrician in a shipyard, I cared not: electrical current is nothing more and nothing less than painful. Especially when leather-skinned journeymen in rubber boots lick their fingers and dab the sockets and tell you "aye - there's a wee bit juice in there, son" and you, delicate piano-fingered steel-toe-capped you, you lick your fingers and stick them in the hole too.
And years of day release obtaining Electrical & Electronic Engineering certificates taught me, if nothing else, that when it comes to televisions it is always the case that "yer tube's gone, pal."
And indeed, it has. Pal.
While later apprenticed as an electrician in a shipyard, I cared not: electrical current is nothing more and nothing less than painful. Especially when leather-skinned journeymen in rubber boots lick their fingers and dab the sockets and tell you "aye - there's a wee bit juice in there, son" and you, delicate piano-fingered steel-toe-capped you, you lick your fingers and stick them in the hole too.
And years of day release obtaining Electrical & Electronic Engineering certificates taught me, if nothing else, that when it comes to televisions it is always the case that "yer tube's gone, pal."
And indeed, it has. Pal.
Hmm - I get the whiff of something false, here. Seems to me you visited my site some six months back, encouraging me to buy an enormous TV to match our new Simpson sofa. You even provided the necessary link to its purchase, if I'm not mistaken.
Mr. F.C. Bearded Thanks for dropping by and seconding my future Existentialist tv repairman son's opinion that the set is shot. Must be that gillish green color that was the key clue. I'll print this all out to show to the ever-loving wife that I have experts agreeing on the death certificate.
Mr. WP Something false? I'm taken aback. Aback, uhh back, back to http://darrellreimer.com/index.php?p=51 (the referred to post). I'd thought that I was helping your cause and your feng shui with the suggestion of adding a Jetsonian tv. Is it just my personal preference that cars should be compact and tv's gigantic?
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Mr. WP Something false? I'm taken aback. Aback, uhh back, back to http://darrellreimer.com/index.php?p=51 (the referred to post). I'd thought that I was helping your cause and your feng shui with the suggestion of adding a Jetsonian tv. Is it just my personal preference that cars should be compact and tv's gigantic?
<< Home Verging on Pertinence Just some more disposable thoughts clogging up the hinterlands
