Monday, November 22, 2004

Selected Sports Quips
An interesting long weekend, if you count Friday.
1) Ring Magazine announces Fight of the Century at the Palace of Auburn Hills this Friday...oh, sorry, last Friday. Results?
a) NBA - TKO
b) Larry Brown - His national Eeyore and Carpetbagger Tour is now officially scheduled. Quoted after the debalce/mellee on Friday, Mr. Brown, the poster child of United Van Lines Moving, said (and I quote from the NYT), "(after our world championship last year) everybody kind of looked at this city and this franchise in a special way, and now watching TV, it's just such a black eye. I don't know how we can overcome that". You read this here first, the moving vans are already revving up and will be picking up him and his belongings before the end of the year.
NYC is the place for He!
c) Ron Artest - The "Oppressed Tour", highlighting his new rap album will start earlier than originally scheduled.

2) In a related story, Tommy Bowden, Clemson football coach said that the N.B.A. brawl bewtween the Pistons and the Pacers had factored into Saturday's brawl between the Clemson and South Carolina football teams". "They (Clemson football team) sat there and watched that for 24 hours! By no way and means did it justify what happened (at Saturday's football game). It just did." So, stay tuned for the Weather Channel update. This winter's Month Long freeze or Month Long scorch is due to the Pacer-Piston rumble. Other phenomenon attributable to the basketball bout will also be announced shortly.

3) The State department, sensing a national flow of events, is already preparing a strike on Iran as a consequence of the Brawl in the Hall, stating "the American people are incensed by the non-loss of life in Detroit and feel we should show our retribution for this National shame appropriately."

Finally, in another NYT piece from the Sports section regarding the dismissal of the footbal coach at Western Michigan after a 1-10 season, here's Coach Gary Darnell's thoughts, (and I quote):

"As for his future, Darnell said he had drawn motivation (for making it through his dismissal) from watching the wildlife at his lakeside home.
"I think I want to be a duck." Darnell said in a telephone interview yesterday (11/20/04). "You want to know why? A duck goes in the water when he wants and goes on land when he wants. He goes south for the winter and north for the summer. He eats good. He only eats fish and vegetables. I might be a duck for a while. How about that?""

And that sums up the presidential election results for me. I might go North. I might be a Canadian for a while. Quack! Quack!
Oh, wait a minute. They're getting Fox News.
Never mind.

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