Thursday, October 14, 2004
Pessimism & Your post-Nov. 2nd Portfolio
Along with charter buses plying there way northward in search of cheaper meds, like salmon to spawn, so shall a good deal of our citizenry be taking any mode of transportation, including bipeding, to get over the Quiet Border. This, at least, according to various answers given to pollsters inquiring about the upcoming election.
If Prez Bush makes it a double term, turnstiles will have to be set up at major border crossings to Canada.
What's one to do?
Well, if you're a social pessimist but an economic optimist, it's time to consider diverting those mutual fund dollars helping support a military complex and a coffee crazed nation addicted to electronic ware to destinations further north. Unless the Canucks opt to keep Americans out, which I doubt they'll do since they are the most polite country in...well, at least in all of North America, an uptick in their population will bring with it a demand for goods and services. Where to put your money, you ask?
1) Location. Location. Location. All of these border-crossers will need a place to lounge and spread out their material goods. Get the Toronto Globe & Mail, Toronto Sun, Montreal Gazette, Edmonton Journal, etc. Look at the real estate sections. Look for properties close to highways and shopping malls. Something akin to the places folks are leaving form the States.
2) Food. Food. Food. Canadian cuisine is as world famous as Al Queda pacifists. Just like the al Queda, the Canadian cuisine is difficult to locate. You may be staring at it right on your plate, but you'll fail to recognize it under the cover of brownish gravy. The newly arrived will want pizzas, burgers, and fries. And that means fries without vinegar! Ecoute la! Donut Shoppes are also a good investment. Tim Horton's is Canadian, well-established (I.e., heavy on the goodwill), and easy to manage.
3)Beer. Beer. Beer. Although, in general, Canadian beer is much preferable to the mass-produced American version, you'll have quite a few Americanos unwilling to sip anything with taste, so getting into the importing business would be a solid opportunity. This may not be a good long-term investment however, as continued residence in Canada may teach these folks the appreciation of good tasting biere.
4) Sports. Sports. Sports. 12 men on the field? Three downs? Out of end zone point scoring? Does this sound foreign to you? Well, it is! Except in Canada this is called Canadian football. Once the ex-Americans have found a place to lounge and lintpick, sports entertainment and beer (see #4) become the next big needs. This is an optimal investment opportunity. That group of whiny drinking buddies? Time to troll for dollars and put it into a sports team, preferably a football team. Say, the Arizona Cardinals. They should be ripe for the picking. The Chicoutimi Cardinals? That does have a nice ring to it.
Along with charter buses plying there way northward in search of cheaper meds, like salmon to spawn, so shall a good deal of our citizenry be taking any mode of transportation, including bipeding, to get over the Quiet Border. This, at least, according to various answers given to pollsters inquiring about the upcoming election.
If Prez Bush makes it a double term, turnstiles will have to be set up at major border crossings to Canada.
What's one to do?
Well, if you're a social pessimist but an economic optimist, it's time to consider diverting those mutual fund dollars helping support a military complex and a coffee crazed nation addicted to electronic ware to destinations further north. Unless the Canucks opt to keep Americans out, which I doubt they'll do since they are the most polite country in...well, at least in all of North America, an uptick in their population will bring with it a demand for goods and services. Where to put your money, you ask?
1) Location. Location. Location. All of these border-crossers will need a place to lounge and spread out their material goods. Get the Toronto Globe & Mail, Toronto Sun, Montreal Gazette, Edmonton Journal, etc. Look at the real estate sections. Look for properties close to highways and shopping malls. Something akin to the places folks are leaving form the States.
2) Food. Food. Food. Canadian cuisine is as world famous as Al Queda pacifists. Just like the al Queda, the Canadian cuisine is difficult to locate. You may be staring at it right on your plate, but you'll fail to recognize it under the cover of brownish gravy. The newly arrived will want pizzas, burgers, and fries. And that means fries without vinegar! Ecoute la! Donut Shoppes are also a good investment. Tim Horton's is Canadian, well-established (I.e., heavy on the goodwill), and easy to manage.
3)Beer. Beer. Beer. Although, in general, Canadian beer is much preferable to the mass-produced American version, you'll have quite a few Americanos unwilling to sip anything with taste, so getting into the importing business would be a solid opportunity. This may not be a good long-term investment however, as continued residence in Canada may teach these folks the appreciation of good tasting biere.
4) Sports. Sports. Sports. 12 men on the field? Three downs? Out of end zone point scoring? Does this sound foreign to you? Well, it is! Except in Canada this is called Canadian football. Once the ex-Americans have found a place to lounge and lintpick, sports entertainment and beer (see #4) become the next big needs. This is an optimal investment opportunity. That group of whiny drinking buddies? Time to troll for dollars and put it into a sports team, preferably a football team. Say, the Arizona Cardinals. They should be ripe for the picking. The Chicoutimi Cardinals? That does have a nice ring to it.
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