Let's Call the Whole Thing Off

So, needing a clarification on what's the difference between a lawyer and a judge?

Per today's piece in Writer's Almanac, a lawyer is an alleged learned professional who can argue that a tomato is a vegetable. A lawyer can also present the case that the tomato is a fruit.

But that's only an argument; I can present the case that I'm Brad Pitt.

So, it's up to a judge to pronounce the final answer to such foolishness, right? So, what is a judge?

A judge is the epitome of accumulated human knowledge who can decide that (regardless of the science of botany) that the tomato is a vegetable.