Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The iPad : 2010's Pleasure Orb?


There's a scene from Sleeper where Woody Allen, entranced with the future world, takes a liking, an enormous liking, to a silver orb that, when rubbed or handled, gives the holder immense pleasure.  As with most things pleasure, an excess leaves one groggy, inebriated, and over-relaxed (read that as "sleepy").  But, once back to his own self, it's not long before the size of this pleasure orb is Super-Sized...only to bring on larger doses of post-pleasure grogginess.

The iPad was introduced today by that ultimate pleasure giver, Steve Jobs.  On video and pictures it looks like...well, like a Super-Sized iTouch.  The iPad has no camera posssibilities, weighs in at 24 oz., (quite a bit more than the 10.3 oz Kindle), and still maintains the Apple death grip connection with AT&T.   In addition, the iPad will have to alter folks' behaviour as to how large of an iTouch/iPhone they are willing to carry around.

The NYT lists some of the drawbacks:

1) No ability to play Adobe Flash animations, widely used on the Web.

2)No camera, still or video
3) No non-Internet phone function
4) Unclear whether you can bundle your AT&T iPhone plan with an iPad data plan
5) No removable battery for a device that can suck a lot of power
6) No removable storage

On the plus side, the iPad will run for 10 hours (allegedly).

Why I am not buying the iPad:
1) AT&T service.  The same reason I wouldn't have an iPhone.
2) The kindle weighs half as much and the battery life is much more than 10 hours (I've used it for over 20 hours before I plugged it in; the battery stil had 1/3 charge indicated).
3) It's large; a man-purse derivative will have to be concocted.
4) I have enough small silver pleasure orbs.  Super-sizing is not necessary.


The Pope loves it...with a few reservations..but then He gets these mindful toys for $0.00, a price we'd all be willing to pay for the next new thing.

Note bene:  I LOVE Macs and most things Apple.   I have purchased or helped purchase (i.e., good old moneybags) iMacs, iTouches, iPods, and other things   "i" that I can't recall.
I have yet to have one of these "i" things of my own, so a bitter taste lingers over seeing (very) close relatives with "i"y things while yours truly remains "i"less.  So... perhaps the stones I throw in the general vicinity of the iPad are from a chucker who won't be "i"ng for a while.

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Comments:
The thrill factor accorded to this device is, for now, just beyond my ken. A comment from a friend pretty much summed up my own response: "It's like they took the iPhone and just made it larger."

How is it nobody in The Press has picked up on this?
 
Yep, re. iPad size, noted above as "Super-sized iTouch". Aside from cash outlay, my qualms about the iPad tie into the lousy AT&T service around my fine city. A guy on the street who specializes in Apple installations had an iPhone and turned it back in to get a Blackberry solely due to the AT&T service. Loved the iPhone for its possibilities, but preferred the Blackberry because of his need to have consistent phone and Internet service while on the go.
 
And the iPad doesn't have the special "ink" the enables the Kindle to be read in virtually any kind of light. Try taking that iPad to the sunlit beach for a read...
 
as iRecall you had a chance to have an iPod touch but you poo-pooed it and it's inferior audio quality.
 
even more questionable, the use of the moniker iPad. As my friend Elena mentioned, it is as though the marketing department consists entirely of male dweebs who forgot to consult the fairer sex.
 
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